A decrescendo of classical music

I grew up with classical music. My parents, having just moved to the U.S., wanted a fresh start, one where their children could excel and go further than they could ever have gone back in Hong Kong. My father, in particular, cited popular music as his downfall to studying well as a child and persuaded me not to listen to bands like the Beatles. Classical music would stimulate our minds and make us smarter, he said.

So I grew up with Bach and Beethoven. I played the piano from the ages of 4 to 12 and then transitioned to the violin. To me, classical music was a sign of intellectualism and ambition, which I was told was unique to immigrants and children of immigrants. In fifth grade, girls sang along with Britney Spears’ “Oops! …I Did It Again,” and I was simultaneously frightened and drawn to the strange sounds coming out of their gyrating, lip-gloss smeared, prepubescent bodies.

But as I discovered Nirvana, Damien Rice and Tom Waits, I entertained fanciful notions of becoming a concert violinist. I was never disciplined enough to get through all of my etudes or scales, but the idea was there. It was only when my parents persuaded me to quit orchestra in my junior year of high school in order to focus on academics that I made my real break with classical music.

Last week was a big one for classical music. The New York City Opera filed for bankruptcy, and after a year-long hiatus caused by a labor dispute, the Minnesota Orchestra lost its conductor.  Carnegie Hall recently got over its own labor dispute, which led to the cancellation of its opening-night gala. The main reason for these failures was a lack of funding and bad financial planning.

I would like to have reacted to the loss of these two important musical organizations by thinking that classical music was finally losing its weak hold on relevancy, but instead I was angered and felt more than a hint of despair. It’s not that I don’t think classical music is outdated; it’s a large part of culture that we need in contrast to non-classical music.

I often wish I could just quit violin. But I feel an indescribable need to keep playing even though I am extremely undedicated. I have wanted to stop hanging onto what defined me as a child, but I love music and I have discovered that classical music also has its thrills and its own sort of modernity. I have discovered that Shostakovich can be just as abrasive as the Sex Pistols, and that modern artists like Arvo Pärt and Nico Muhly can cross over to the classical genre as well as stretch the boundaries of music.

As a society, we need to preserve our culture and move forward. In the same way that I cannot forget my roots, we cannot forget where we came from, and classical music is our grounding.

Without it, we would not have any idea where the music we listen to comes from. Music would not be as rich as it is now. And now, it seems to me that the arts are disappearing more drastically than ever—from schools and from daily life.